Remembering Rachel - Animorphs Shorts
by adamheap
Summary: Tobias has never stopped grieving over Rachel's death, and though he tries to avoid any reminders, it's something he simply cannot escape.


**Remembering Rachel**

The clearing to the river was so often deserted. Barely would a hiker struggle past or a tourist flash a camera. It was my perfect place to forget the Human world and the memories that came irremovably tangled within its web. The leaves rustled above and beneath my perch, and the weak branch creaked anxiously between my claws. Not a minute went by when such sounds would disappear, and in its persistence it became almost silent.

Today, however, the pure-green landscape had been disturbed. With sharp hawk vision I saw the lifeless rolling of a sheet of paper, tumbleweeding over the grass with nobody around to have dropped it. It was from a newspaper. I could tell by the black, bold heading and the striking image beneath. I could have ignored it, but its mere presence provided far too much curiosity to simply avoid it. I would be thinking about it all day. What was the headline? What had happened to the world in my absence? Only being certain would end the questions.

I scanned the horizon and took wing, swooping through wavering leaves and into open air. The sheet of paper attempted an escape as a sudden breeze pushed through, but I had no issue in snapping it up in my claws, only worried of causing tears. Spreading my wings, I reduced momentum and dropped onto the grass. With delicate beak movements, I managed to flatten out the page.

The news story was entirely irrelevant to me. Something about a corporate scandal. I didn't even recognise the name of the company, and I'd lost so much knowledge of economics and politics that figuring out what had happened would be a fruitless task.

Instead, my sharp eyes locked onto an image. A beautiful women, young and confident in her expression. Her hair was blonde, long and perfectly groomed.

I didn't know the woman, but at first glance I thought that I did. Those horrible memories came trudging back like an army over the hill. And yet I continued to gaze at the girl that I didn't know, who could so easily have been Rachel in her glorious twenties.

She had been gone for three years. Her funeral was the last Human gathering I dared attend, if only to honor her memory. Once I had spread her ashes, I retired into Yellowstone, away from Humans and from all the problems they caused. Without her…

Where would I be without her? Where would I be if she were still alive?

 _Such a waste. It could have been avoided so easily._

I recalled the looks she would give me, and the words, too. Of all of them, she was the closest. I could never explain why. I was always the loner back in school. Never in a million years would a girl like her even look at me for more than a second. She was…

 _She was amazing._

The flowing blonde hair was what I remembered the most. The smile, perhaps.

It was all ash now, somewhere so far away.

What more of the Human world did I have to live for? The world that did nothing but push me around like some novelty toy. That's all I was. That was what I hated the most. Always, always being pushed around. Treated like a faulty electrical appliance or a stinking, flea-infested mutt. Yeah, it was different with the Animorphs, but even then…

 _They cared._

Did they come visit? Did they even try? Three years and nothing. Not even Ax, my _shorm_ and relative. I guess he had better things to do, what with being a Prince and all…

 _It's because I hide myself away. That's why nobody visits._

Rachel would have. She wouldn't have let me leave or isolate myself. She'd always been there for me during the lowest times. Even when the war had taken its toll.

 _She was beyond repair._

So am I. I'm defective.

I missed her. I missed her so much. Three years and nothing had changed. Not one bit. Suddenly, the world was empty. The rustling of leaves muted, the creaking of the trees ceased. Even the wind seemed to freeze to a standstill. All I saw was her. Everywhere.

 _She's gone. Get over it._

I forced my stare away from the page, and the world began to churn once more. The leaves, the branches and the wind. I shifted, clenched talons around the paper and scrunched the image away. I would allow the stray page to once again commence a journey to the infinite wilderness.

I let it go, and the wind took it in its stride. It bounced, rolled, and soon it was gone into the undergrowth. I continued to watch, even after it had vanished.

My ears caught the sound of heavy steps in the grass nearby. Two-footed, intrusive.

"Friend Tobias?" Called the local Hork-Bajir. "Hello!"

I was just a Hawk. I didn't even allow a glance, and just like any hawk would, I twisted, spread my wings, and pushed myself into the air. I wouldn't spare my company. I flew high to where nobody would find me.

Yet I couldn't get her away. The rays of the sun were her hair, the whistling of the wind her voice. She remained, just as she always would.


End file.
